A "Good Friday"

Friday, 3/29/13
Today was an easy workout.  Just a Cardio day.  Boom!  Got that done!
Had a good morning with my daughter Lyndsey and grandson Kai looking at houses.  Kai didn't even bat an eye that Gigi looked a little different.

I met with my Coach at Max Muscle today.  I got my measurements done and pics.  Finally feeling happy about where I am at, and I know it's where I need to be for competing in a few weeks.  There might be some people, when looking at me on the outside, they see something different.  Some might think I'm too old.  Some might think I'm too skinny.  Some might think they could do  better.  But I know what's going on, how hard I've worked and am working, and I'm okay with it.  I'm very excited!  The bodybuilding/figure competing world is an interesting one to understand, and if you're not in it, it really does look strange from the outside.  If you're in it, it is very easy to get wrapped up in only it.

There is a fine line to keeping your priorities straight because it requires so much diligence in training and nutrition.  I'm very thankful that my family has been flexible enough for me to get in to it.  I finally feel like I found something that I love doing and that is just for me.  

When I first started working out, I was waiting for my family and friends to see the changes in my body that I was seeing.  I could see my muscles growing.  Why couldn't they??  Then my reasons changed for working out.  I started looking at myself and realizing it was for me.  No one else, but for me.  

Had a great time at a party with good friends tonight.  Went commando. (aka: no hair)  I was okay.  Good friends, good times, good break.

It was a "Good Friday" .  Not the traditional Good Friday in the way that I used to celebrate it.  However, I do know what the day is really about, and just because I wasn't observing it as I used to, I was still very aware of what the day is about.  The day my Savior, Jesus Christ, was crucified.  The day He gave His life for me to pay for my sins.  What a loving, unselfish God we all have the opportunity to know.  

I Chose To

Thursday, 3/28/13 Crystal met me at the gym for our workout.  It was a Plyometric workout.  When my Coach, Jaime, gave me my first Plyo workout I had no idea what it was.  I thought it was just another Cardio workout.  I actually looked it up on google.  "Plyometrics, also known as jump training or plyos, are exercises based around having muscle exert maximum force in as short a time as possible, with the goal of increasing both speed and power.  This training focuses on learning to move from a muscle extension to a contraction in a rapid or explosive way, for example with specialized repeated jumping."  When I get these workouts from Jaime, I look at the Plyo workouts and always think, oh geez, that's going to be easy, or that looks kind of weird, but they always end up kicking my butt!  Thanks Jaime!  

I got to meet my best friend, Jani, for lunch today.  I think she was worried about how I was doing, worried about how my sister was doing, and a bit curious to see how I looked without my hair.  It was so good for me to spend some time with her.  She got me to talk about how I felt about cutting my hair off, and really, for the first time, why I did it.  

Of course, the reason I did it was to make it easier for Mary to do hers.  I did NOT want her to have to shave or lose her hair without me doing it too.  Honestly, it was not as hard for me to do it as it was for her.  I know mine will grow back quickly.  Hers won't.  It was, and is still, sometimes difficult when I walk by a mirror and see myself.  It still doesn't process that it is me.  But I am getting used to it.  Just like every woman does when they get a new haircut or color.  I was/am so paranoid that people are just going to assume that I am the one that is sick with cancer.  After all, why in the world would  a woman CHOOSE to shave her hair off???  Just because.  Maybe because she wants to be wild and crazy.  Maybe because she's a rocker chick.  Maybe a biker chick.  Maybe she is sick and going through cancer or some other kind of treatment that forced her to lose her hair.  Or maybe, she did do it in support of someone she loves.  Whatever the reason, it really isn't that big of a deal I've decided.  We are who we are no matter what we look like on the outside.  Even without our "crown of glory".  (and I had a big crown!)  It makes me so angry that, as a woman, we feel we have to hide our heads with scarves or hats if we don't have any hair.  Yes, it does take some getting used to.  Yes, it does make you feel a bit vulnerable.  (And, yes it is a bit colder.)  But, we are still the same person.  So, when you do see a woman who is wearing a scarf, who has a shaved head or who has lost her hair, it's okay to look.  Just give her a smile too.  I was thinking everyone was staring at first, but hello....I guess you don't see a woman every day with a shaved head.  I just don't want people feeling sorry for me or thinking I've done this "grand gesture".   I don't feel that way about it.  I just did it.  I chose to do this just to make it easier for Mary to do it.  My sister was the one who didn't have a choice, but I don't think she would want anyone to feel sorry for her either.  It is a part of the process now that she know she has to go through that is temporary, and the process will make her well.

Wednesday, 3/27/13
I flew home from Phoenix today.  I guess I'm needed at home too.
I had lots of catching up to do at home so I didn't make it to the gym until after dinner tonight.  Biceps/Triceps and Cardio was the workout today.  First time back in my gym with my "new haircut".  Not so bad.  Cardio, however, I decided is much easier in Phoenix than it is here.  I still sweat like a pig both places, but it's definitely harder to do here.  I am going to get my weight and measurements done tomorrow.  Very excited.  Always like to see if I am where I am supposed to be at.

Tuesday, 3/26/13  Had a good day with my sister.  We had to go in and get her Neulasta shot, but overall, she felt pretty good (considering) most of the day.  We even made stopped on the way home from the doctors for an outing to the Sprouts store.  And, get this, we went in commando!  No wigs, no hats!  It's pretty cool what you feel like you can do when you do things with someone else.

Had to wear my hat when I went to the gym.  Not so brave when I'm solo.  However, I had to smile when the first song I heard when I turned my music on was my boyfriend (Steven Tyler) singing me my song.  I did 30 minutes Cardio on the Elliptical and then did my Leg workout.  There's not many exercises that I love doing as much as I love to Squat.  It's the one exercise that makes me really feel like I am growing my skinny little legs.  Finished up my workout with 20 minutes more of Cardio on the Stairmaster.  

Good workout today.

Dream On

Monday, 3/25/13  I was with my sister for her second Chemo treatment.  Nothing makes you more grateful for your own problems, issues, aches, or pains than being in a room with 10-12 Cancer patients receiving Chemo for various Cancers.  I am humbled.  I may be the one working out, but my sister is the one who is crazy strong!

After spending the day with Mary at home, I knew it was time for me to get to the gym.  This was my first outing by myself since I had shaved my hair.  I put a bandanna on and a baseball cap on over it.  It really did take a lot for me to walk out the door.  I know, pretty silly.  I stopped off at Target (me procrastinating) to get a couple hats for me and Mary.  This was probably worse than if I had gone straight to the gym.  It's funny who will stare and who doesn't.  Actually, I tried not to make eye contact with anyone.  

I got the hats and had no more excuses.  Oh, I could have kept shopping, but I didn't want to go in to any more stores!  I called my husband for some support, and he reminded me that it really doesn't matter what others think.  It's not about them.  If I want/need to do something bad enough, I just need to do it.  I love him!  (He is living this by example in his new job.)  

I got to the gym.  Oh yes.  There were some who stared.  But I stared back.  Back, Abs, and 50 minutes of Cardio.  I probably had one of my best workouts in quite a while.  At one point (I won't tell you why) I almost even pulled off my hat and scarf!  I know...getting crazy, huh?  When I was finishing up with my Cardio, I heard my favorite song.  For those of you who really know me, it won't be a surprise who sings it.  My rock star crush, Steven Tyler.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Qd9VR1gD8

Every time when I look in the mirror All these lines on my face getting clearer

The past in gone. It went by like dusk to dawn

Isn't that the way. Everybody's got the dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows Where it comes and where it goes

I know it's everybody's sin. You got to lose to know how to win.

Half my life is in books written pages

Live and learn from fools and from sages

You know it's true.  Oh, All these things you do come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years, Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears.

Sing with me, just for today.  Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the years, Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears.

Sing with me, just for today.  Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.

Dream on, Dream on, Dream on, Dream until your dreams come true.

This has become my song.  It makes so much sense along side of my training, where I am at right now in my life, and along with what I am going through with my sister.

My Season.  Don't live in the past.  You don't know what tomorrow holds.  Have some dreams, but don't wait to go for them.  Start yesterday and work for them today.  My Life.

When to go Public

Back when I started this blog in November, my original intent was for it to be an online diary of sorts for a training log.  I had started going back to the gym pretty regular in September and had set a goal to compete in a Figure Competition some time in 2013.  Other than my immediate family knowing about it, I wasn't planning on sharing this blog or the fact that I was competing with anyone else.  Well, as you can see, I've decided to share it now, and as you can also see, I haven't kept it as a training log and only have made a few entries.  I am a major procrastinator!  I am working to improve on this and started yesterday.

Sunday-3/24/13  Cardio/Abs day.  Because I had shaved my head the night before I couldn't quite manage to get my butt out the door and go to the gym.  (call it an excuse if you must)  However, I put one of my sister's hats on, and went for a run.  Maybe it was a bit of adrenaline, maybe it was my attitude, maybe it was a bit of stress I needed to blow off, or maybe it's just the fact that the elevation here in Phoenix is lower than it is in Denver, but I ran farther without stopping than I have ever done at home!  Almost 3 miles in 31 minutes!  Finished out with 15 more minutes walking.  Then stretched and did my Abs at the "Macht-Simoniello Resort and Spa".

It's been tough keeping my training schedule while traveling back and forth between home and Phoenix to be with Mary, but I'm doing it!  I'm not always consistent on the time of day I'm training, but I am always getting my workout in.  The gyms down here (24 Hour Fitness is where I belong) could definitely use some upgrades!  They are like the gyms at home used to be.  It's amazing how spoiled I've become.  I used to complain about how snobby the 24 Hours were at home and how I used to love the feel of the old gyms.  Now I'm complaining about just the opposite!  Nutrition is pretty easy as I just go to the grocery store the day I get down here and get the stuff I need for the days I plan on being here.

I hope no one thinks I am sharing all this to "toot my own horn" or anything like that.  I am really proud about what I am doing, and it has been really hard work being consistent and sticking to the program, but I think my thought process in finally actually publishing it is so that I am more accountable in making posts.  If no one reads it but me still, that's okay.  It's still mainly for me.  About the Season I am in.  About my Life.





   

It's Almost April????

Wow!  I can't believe that three months of 2013 have already almost gone by.  I really have sat down many many times to write an entry in this blog.  I don't really have an excuse except that I have totally procrastinated doing it, and now, here we are, with three months of the year gone.  
I have had so many different ideas in the past few months of things to write about, but never took the time.  So today, I will write about what I am doing and where I am at today.

So, I am 6 weeks out from competing in my first Figure Competition.  I am training 6 days a week in the gym and following a pretty strict nutrition plan.  I am working with a Coach and nutritionist and I train with Crystal when she is in town, but it seems I am in the gym a lot on my own.  Right now it's about two hours a day in the gym.  I'm relying quite a bit on my Coach for some feedback, because I'm not sure if what I am seeing in the mirror is what I am supposed to be seeing.  I was doing pretty good mentally until the past week or two.  I didn't realize how much mental attitude was going to play into the whole thing.  I'm going to have to work on that part.  I'm confident in the gym, but as soon as I leave the gym, I need some reassurance.

Well, that brings me to where I am at.  Right now I am in Phoenix with my sister.  She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in February.  Her treatment plan started with Chemo two weeks ago.  She has a wonderful husband who is great, but I want to be here for her too because although I know our mom would give anything to be here with her.  It's too tough for her and dad to go back and forth right now, but I have a bit more flexibility.  I plan on being here as much as I can, especially during her chemo weeks.  Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who understands how close I am to my sister.

She has her second Chemo treatment tomorrow.  I got here last Thursday because we expected her hair loss to begin any day.  It started yesterday.  We shaved our heads last night.  I had her shave mine, and then I did hers.  There was no way I was going to let her go bald without me doing it too.  I have it easy.  Mine will grow back fast.  She has a long road ahead.  It was tough this morning.  We did get wigs, but it's not quite the same as your own hair.  It's amazing how, as a woman, secure your hair makes you feel.

I'm down to my last month of training before my contest.  I'm training about every other week in gyms that I'm not familiar with.  My nutrition plan is going to be tightening up, I think, weekly.  I'm not that confident in how I am looking.  I just shaved my hair off.  But hey......I just ordered a beautiful posing suit!!!!