Badge of Courage, Badge of Strength

It's been a couple weeks since I've checked in.  Things have been good. Lots of thoughts going through my head.  Training is good.  I'm confident, per my Coach, I'm where I need to be as far as my weight goes, and she is continuing to tweak my nutrition as we get closer to my first competition.  It's only three weeks away.  I'm "trusting in the process" and following my macro-nutrient guidelines to the letter!
I had posing practice last weekend.  Who knew that two hours of holding poses could make you more sore than a regular workout!!!  I had a momentary meltdown when I was done as I started the whole comparison thing again.  I was practicing with three other girls who are in awesome shape.  However, they are also different ages, heights, and were at different starting points than I was at.  I just need to remember this is about how far I have come.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't do this to compete against myself.  I want to win, and I want to be on stage and look like I can win, but I know where I was when I started, and I know I am in better shape now to compete than I ever could have before or on my own.  Thank you Jaime Lee Cash and Max Muscle Highlands Ranch!

This week I was with my sister in Phoenix.  It was another Chemo week for her.  Not that great of a week, so I'm glad I was able to be there to help her.  (and I still got my workouts in every day)  While I was down there, I really got to thinking about......hair.  That's right, hair.  Or, not having any.  Mary has pretty much lost all of hers now.  People, at least some of my friends, have told me how great it is that I had shaved my hair in support of her.  Some people, that I hardly even know, have even asked about it and said how great they thought it was.  People say they don't think they could ever do something like this and how could I do it.  Well, thank you, of course for thinking it's special.  Thanks for saying something when a lot of people are afraid to say anything at all.  But what doing it has really made me think about, and what I want people to know, is what I've learned SINCE doing it.  It has taught me to really respect, and realize how much courage and strength these women with cancer have.  They have been programmed that when they lose their hair, it's not attractive so they need to cover their bare head with a hat or scarf.  Well, that ticks me off so much!!  I say you have more than earned it, so rock it!  Show it off!  Wear it like a Badge of Strength that you have earned!  I wish all the little girls who are fighting different cancers and have lost their hair would have moms that teach them it doesn't matter what shape your head is.  You don't need ponytails.  You rock that bare head because you have earned it!  I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I could never shave my head because of the shape of my head."  Well, if it would come down to it, you could, and you would rock it!  It's 10% razor and 90% attitude.  And if you have no choice, than you earned it, and it's your Badge! 

My sister and her hair, or lack of it now, truly has earned her badge of courage and strength!  She has shown me that even on that week when she knows she is feeling good, (her "off" week) that she can face this battle with laughter and strength.  On the day before Chemo, when she has to be feeling a bit down because she knows what the week ahead has in store, she takes that one day at a time, still gets through the day, and gets things done.  When she is sitting in that chair on Chemo day hooked up to the IV's, she knows how it is going to make her feel, but she is doing it because she knows that the end result is what she needs to focus on.  The days after her Chemo, she feels like crap. one side effect leaves and another one takes its place.  She still gets out of bed, does as much as she can every day.  She does this week after week, knowing she has a long road ahead.  Tell me she hasn't earned the right to show off that beautiful badge of strength and courage.  Her beautiful, bare head.

So, I too, will wear my shaved hair (and it has already grown considerably since cutting it) as a badge of courage and strength.  When I go to the store, a restaurant, or a hockey game, I will be proud to represent my sister and my friends that lost their hair (Roz, Beth, Melissa).  My friends who battled and beat breast cancer but didn't lose their hair, (Tracy, Verleen, Mom, my Mother-in-Law) have taught me Courage.  They don't wake up each day and worry about whats waiting in the future.  You should live each day to the fullest and give your best to your family and friends.  Surround yourself with the positive.  I am fortunate to know so many of you! 

I can only hope to be as strong and courageous as them all some day.  I'm learning.