65 Years of Love

What does 65 years of marriage look like?

Today is my Mom and Dad's 65th Wedding Anniversary.  They were married September 24, 1950.  Two weeks after they were married my Dad left for the Korean War.  My Mom only saw him two more times during that first two years of marriage.  They wrote to each other ever day during those two years.  After he returned home, they lived in Julesburg, CO for a couple of years before moving to Denver.  They haven't been separated for more than a couple of days apart from each other, ever, since those first two years.  

He doesn't remember this part of their story anymore.

This week, my mom is trying to make the difficult decision whether it's time to have my Dad go into an Assisted Living Memory Care Center.  My Mom is an amazing woman. A true warrior.  She has been the caregiver for my Dad since his Alzheimer's diagnosis over 5 years ago.  24/7 she is with him, caring for him, and loving him.  Some days she believes he knows her as his wife, but EVERY morning when she wakes him up, he tells her "Your the most beautiful woman in the whole world" before giving her a hug and a kiss.  Some days are good, and a few days are bad, but they always have each other.

This transition is not going to be easy.  First of all, it is quite the process to even make anything happen.  Our heads are spinning with so many questions. Where? How? When?  Where is the right place for him?  Will he be angry at Mom for taking him somewhere and leaving him there?  Will it make it harder on him if she visits and then leaves?  Will he know her when she visits?  Will he think someone else is his wife?  How will we afford it?  How long will this last before the Lord takes him Home?  Can it really get any worse?  Is this really the right time?  

I think it's like with anything.  If you wait until you think it's the right time, you will never move forward. We know in our brains that it's time, but our hearts are having a hard time with the decision.  I believe there will be sort of a mourning process.  Once he moves out of their home, things will never be the same.  There will be a loss.  Mom will be alone.  (even if she moves in with us kids)  Of course we can go visit, and we will,  but things will be different.  I want to believe, though, that things will only be different, difficult, and a feeling of loss for us at home, and not for Dad.  I want to believe that Dad will settle in and be at home wherever he is.  I want to believe that he will be as happy where he ends up, as he is now.  I want to believe that he will still think that he is "in the military", and still "taking care of his Broncos".  I want to believe that he will always somehow know that "the most beautiful woman in the whole world" will always be there for him, and that she loves him more today than she did on the day they were married 65 years ago.